self-exploration in costa rica
This is a work in progress... updates happening daily. Will add videos at some point too!
Why do we go where we end up?
Thought I’d pull my travel thoughts together. Journal style. I only travel with my phone so it’s going to be a little sketchy; an eclectic mix of photos, poems, videos and scribs (scribbled thoughts).
Transit
For me, the journey begins when I get to the airport. The moments leading up to that are still business as usual. I keep my mind pinned to a place. It was hard to leave Perth this time ‘round. I met some cool new friends the week before that had me high vibing, water fasting and meditating pretty deep. I was also lapping up final Perth moments with my Brother, Julian who was moving to live in Sydney. My ticket was booked for 5 weeks .... but I had a feeling I might be away longer.
I had no expectations for Costa Rica. I didn’t do any research. I think the US customs lady thought I was a drug mule for my lack of information, sketchy plans and unknown connections. Meh, I trusted the process. I packed a backpack and off I went. Perth > Sydney > LA (15 hour layover) > San Jose.
No expectations, but good intentions.
Costa Rica Animal Rescue Centre
For years I had felt a calling to get away - run away, live it simply and be of service. I wanted to move my body, be outside and work with nature. I googled and came across this place ^. Awesome! I booked it - the week before I left haha. It was expensive ....... and I got ripped off because I booked through an agent ... NOTE TO OTHERS: BOOK DIRECT
https://www.costaricaanimalrescuecenter.org/
It was perfect! A global community of likeminded friends - working 6 days a week (for 3 weeks) at all hours with the most incredible exotic Central American animals and people. You were either a general volunteer or a Vet team member. I started of general - tending to the bird aviaries, nocturnals, sloths and Howler monkeys - cleaning the enclosures, giving them food, enrichment (creating toys and stimulating interest) and preparing food in the Animal Kitchen. And then later I moved into the Vet Team working with a tighter team tending to baby animals, 3-toed sloths, owls and assisting the vet on various random duties.
Our days were very structured - wedging free time in where possible to chill in the hammocks upstairs, write, read, yoga, pool, play and hang. Having said that, as a member on the vet team we had to feed the baby animals (possums, owls, raccoons) throughout the day/ night! Shift work was .... delirious! 🤪 I barely slept for 3 weeks - yet I felt SO energised and stoked with life! Crazy how little sleep we can get by on when we love what we do and look forward to each day!
One day a week, we ventured out of our little bubble to explore Costa Rica ... and I’ve included some pictures below. And of course, some scribs that I was vibing on.
There were so many moments to create. With my bung wrist still healing - I made a pact with myself to stretch everyday and find flexibility in my body.... mmm yeah that good pain. BIG FAN! It’s orgasmic - that kinda lengthening and listening. Sometimes I did sit-ups 👍 felt proud of myself. To be fair, I was drinking tap water .... it’s all we had on offer at the centre and we drank A LOT with the humidity ... so as a result I had the runs or gastro like symptoms for 3 weeks. Wasn’t bad .... all movement is good movement. Let the body flow. I used organic Oregano oil in my water every couple of days to kill any mean bacteria I might be infesting.
I am obsessed with feeling the contrast of light - the bright and the dark. I feel a deep sense of gratitude for both and the lessons and depth they bring to my existence. The darkness excites and energises me!!! The brightness opens and humbles me. I want to wake up early and play with the sun and stay up late and get juicy with the moon.
And sometimes I fall into society - into a world that was built around me - but not for me. And it doesn’t make much sense, not anymore.
I dance with hypotheticals. I use my imagination to stimulate a kind of love hate that arouses my insides. And then it becomes real - because I see it, I feel it and know it. And it’s enough. It’s done.
An unexpected theme of the trip was exploring the feminine. There were hardly any guys at the rescue centre and it created an opportunity to deepen my relationship with my own femininity - how to accept love and give love. I found myself soften and strengthen, open and bare. To be surrounded by women and allow myself to be seen without judgement. We are all the unique and beautiful.
One of our rescue deers, Eliot was euthanised during my time there. We had spent 2 weeks working allllll day and through the night to care for him. Sitting with him hours before I knew he would pass gave me a weird sense of peace — as though I was projecting the final moments I wish I had with my brother before he died last year. I found a sense of closure, I let tears roll and rested my hand on his chest to feel his heart beat. Beautiful. Thank you, Universe.
La Fortuna & Arenal Volcano Hike
Almost 7 hours hiking in the jungle today!!! One of the toughest... muddy rocky vertical climb...almost broke us. The nature was out of control, so beautiful!!! Anteaters in the trees, collared peccary, spider monkeys, hummingbirds, huge butterflies, birds of all kinds, strange bugs, giant ants, snakes.... 😍👏 We didn’t see another person the entire day and the orchestra of nature sounds was 👌 #Grateful
At points throughout the climb I felt my late Brother’s presence stomping the earth next to me. I felt so light and full of love to feel him adventuring, peacefully.
Monte Verde Aventura & Cloud Forrest
Another incredible location and opportunity to absolutely immerse ourselves in nature. Recalibration! We were all craving a rush and went to an adventure park to zip line (longest zip line in Central America) and do a mini bungee ‘Tarzan’ jump. It was awesome. Free falling is the scariest and best feeling, ever. Free fall into your life - will be good.
TRUST.
Santa Teresa - Pacific Coast
Didn’t want to leave the rescue centre but knew it was time to move onto the next lesson. We find comfort in our strengths, in things we know, things we have learnt. It was time to break out of the rescue centre routine and friendships and dive back into the unknown.
I arrived at the Funky Monkey Surf & Yoga Lodge feeling like a total outsider. I wondered when I’d be able to have the comfort and ease that I felt back at the rescue centre. ‘Give yourself time, Paisley’...... I kept reassuring myself.
That afternoon, I met Jason from Dallas, a super chilled friendly dude. We went for a sunset swim and talked about the world. He told me some cool information which kinda gave me clarity as to why I was attracted to Costa Rica. The ‘Blue Zones’ are demographic regions of the world where people commonly live active lives past the age of 100 years - due to healthy and happier lifestyles. I realised ..... it was time to focus on my physical health. An area of my life I’d shut down, ignored and disempowered. I wanted to feel light and strong in my body, shed weight that no longer served me, consume foods that were worthy and really create a strong foundation and mindset that could carry me throughout life. Nothing fad, excessive or restrictive. It was time to experiment and listen. I wrote a blog inspired by this exploration into my own self worth.
Then there was Andy, the Londoner (Read: Lunduna). He asked me what I was writing and then asked if I could read it out loud to him. I narrated my own self worth blog and it became ... real. He asked me if I wanted guidance with nutrition and we shared philosophies around spirituality and wellbeing. Ambitious experimentalists, I noticed a drive, western edge and curiosity that we had in common — both travelling to around the globe learning different techniques and ideologies to put into practise in an attempt to build our ideal lives. We spent the day together and he showed me how to hitch hike to town and buy local foods cheap. He prepared lunch and dinner that day and we talked about nutrition, hunger and realising satisfaction. I found out he was a massage therapist and jumped at the opportunity - long story short, it was an experience that could only be described as a facilitation of sex onto oneself. It was an epic surrender with moments of terror. All sorts of trust issues oozed from my aura and projections of boyfriends, lovers, brothers, my father all surfaced for resolution - acceptance and forgiveness.
Andy also lent me a book called ‘Distraction’ by Damon Young - a philosophical review of work/life and time/money balance. I’m enjoying this book - takes me back to my undergraduate degree in philosophy ... reigniting my passion for books 😄👏👍 not only that, another theme of this trip has been my relationship with ‘work’. What is ‘real’ work? All that kinda juice!
Santa Teresa is like the Byron Bay or Dunsborough of Costa Rica. It’s oozes ‘chill the fuq out’, enjoy your life, take it slow, prioritise lifestyle and enjoy nature. It’s allllll surf and yoga here. I’ve been doing at least one yoga class a day, and two when I’m feeling perky. But I hadn’t surfed yet..... and well, it was annoying me. I’d broken my wrist earlier this year in Feb whilst trying to learn how to snowboard in Italy. But slowly ... each day my wrist healed and every yoga class I noticed more mobility. Pachi, the general manager of the Funky Monkey Yoga Surf Lodge (where I was staying) also specialises in Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture - so I decided to have a session with him. Having a background in ITA Energy Medicine took us deep into discussion on the 5 elements - Earth, Metal, Water, Wood and Fire. We looked at the areas where I was ‘peaking duck’ wayyyy to overactive and imbalanced and how this affected or pulled from other elements. We discussed diet, colours, activities and all sorts of things I could do to balance my system. Pachi did an awesome job with the acupuncture and also smoking the shiz out of my wrist burning Mugwort over the injured area.
In fact, the session was so epic - it reminded me how much information I had learnt through the Melaney Ryan Institute of Applied Consciousness (MRIAC) - and I’ll be running Element Evaluation sessions online - it’s 45 mins and it’ll be $50 AUD. Why the eff not. I couldn’t believe how fast my systems balanced, how easily I could support myself! Direct message me if you want one. Pretty sick info and super practical 😍🔥🤞.
AND... I finally went surfing. Day 4, Nacho took me out to a really friendly point break and I caught a lonnnnng way from out the back from a bloody line up AND went left (yep, I’m a pro now) and it felt bloody good 😂👏😎. Time completely escaped me out there and I felt the ocean move with me and I knew I was absolutely in flow!
NEW BEGINNINGS & NEW MOON
I had a feeling I was going to extend this trip - but I was falling in and out of doubt. I wasn’t sure if I was just ‘running away’ from myself and then I found out the change fee was going to be a small fortune and it made me sweat my money situations. I wanted a sign. I reach out to my spiritual board of directors - my advisors - which includes my parents. They said, DO IT, “we miss you and want to see you - but go for it if it feels right” and in fact, they were so supportive that they decided to cover my flight change fee for my 27th birthday gift. Glad I spoke up and expressed my wishes. Then there was my friend and Mayan astrologer - Kelly Roland who pulled a tarot card for me from halfway across the world. I’ve added the images below - “what’s stopping you? You can do anything you want, Paisley!” BOOM - I was charged and I extended myself. When it came time to change my flights I realised my flight home was booked for May 4th - which was actually a New Moon in Taurus (my sign) - which is all about new beginnings! I felt as though, this was the third sign to stay. To move through my fears, try something different and enter a new phase of myself.
Later that evening, Eli and I somehow ended up hosting a New Moon Ceremony and meditation at the Funky Monkey Lodge with a retreat group that was passing by. I sat there on the candle lit deck, looking around the circle of international guests and I couldn’t help but think - this is a reflection of things to come — and I felt ALIVE! I was listening to myself, FINALLY! And the confirmation was FAST and obvious.
I write this life before myself
I bought a journal the first day I arrived in Santa Teresa - so stoked I can finally write again after the broken right wrist saga. An epic little hard cover journal with a tropical tiger on the front — was so cheap! I’m not sure what I’m really writing... I think I’d like to write a book but not sure exactly how or what..... I’m open to it (universe! 😅). At the moment it’s a mix of poetry, philosophy, daily pages, paintings and memories — death, sex, union, friendship, dreams, family, to name a few of my favourite things. I write to heal myself, I always have. For as long as I can remember!!
I cried in a cafe today and then again in my yoga practise — spending time journaling has opened me up! I don’t edit myself, I let it ALL out. Confessions to myself. I reveal the bright and the dark, and I love it all. All the depth. I wrote a letter to my Creativity, a letter to my body, a letter to my lover, to my brother, to my younger self.... I write to the universe. I brainstorm, brain explode. For a while I was in fear that someone might find it and read it.... but now I want to share it — because I’m proud. It’s raw and honest and we’re ALL more alike then we are different.
I bought a journal the first day I arrived in Santa Teresa - so stoked I can finally write again after the broken right wrist saga. An epic little hard cover journal with a tropical tiger on the front — was so cheap! I’m not sure what I’m really writing... I think I’d like to write a book but not sure exactly how or what..... I’m open to it (universe! 😅). At the moment it’s a mix of poetry, philosophy, daily pages, paintings and memories — death, sex, union, friendship, dreams, family, to name a few of my favourite things. I write to heal myself, I always have. For as long as I can remember!!
I cried in a cafe today and then again in my yoga practise — spending time journaling has opened me up! I don’t edit myself, I let it ALL out. Confessions to myself. I reveal the bright and the dark, and I love it all. All the depth. I wrote a letter to my Creativity, a letter to my body, a letter to my lover, to my brother, to my younger self.... I write to the universe. I brainstorm, brain explode. For a while I was in fear that someone might find it and read it.... but now I want to share it — because I’m proud. It’s raw and honest and we’re ALL more alike then we are different.
Ground up, again
I’m rediscovering what’s important. Everything I thought I wanted — revaluated. I watch the locals and some of my new friends earn $2 an hour — live comfortably, eat well, move their bodies and generate pure happiness in a lifestyle that is enough. Mum asked me the other day, if I was sick of wearing the same clothes everyday.... and you know what, I am LOVING it!! I don’t have to think, life is simple!! Cold showers, bathers, no makeup or socks. Sometimes breakfast falls from a tree! We swap services, volunteer and find a way to stay. Not much money stimulates creativity, which develops originality which magnifies authenticity and attracts possibility — which encourages likeminded collaborations! Yeah, it’s super challenging at times, but the freedom is SO worthy. One of my girl friends doesn’t even own a bank card ...... omg no debt dreammmmmm. Technically, she has more money than me! Hahaha. Priorities totally change — Roadtrips and experiences favoured over expensive clothes and fancy food. Flavour begins to explode again and the little things are so much more delightful and exciting!
PURA VIDA — life is gooood. It’s allllll good.
